So I Had A Case...

Wednesday morning about 8am I had my very first scene call all by myself. Just natural, nothing crazy, but it was unattended at a home so I go out to the scene. It started off well and I did everything I needed to do and the roommate was very cooperative and understanding and kind. The decedent was a grown man who passed away upstairs so I requested help from the office to get him to the van. Long story short, I knocked over a potted plant. The roommate exploded. For the next 30 minutes or so I heard various phrases including the F word and numerous ways of telling me I'm incompetent at the top of her lungs. Luckily I was still upstairs and was simply overhearing these things, so she didn't see me burst into tears and break down. Before it was all over, the office, my boss and the county had been complained to, and the sheriff's office and fire and EMS had been dispatched again. Throughout the whole process I was continually getting more death calls and my boss was calling to figure out what was going on. It was a complete nightmare. By the time we got the body into the van the roommate had calmed down and I apologized to her and told her to please call me if she needed anything or had any questions. Then I took off.

One of the most unique and challenging things about my job is that I get to interact with people at their most vulnerable point. They have just lost someone very dear to them and their world has crumbled. What makes it challenging is that the grieving process takes many forms. And anger is one of them. I know that the roommate did not mean the horrible things she said to and about me, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. But she is hurting right now. She has just lost her best friend. And I had to remember that when I spoke to her after the fact. At this point, it was my job to show her the love of Christ instead of what was actually going through my head. I don't know that I accomplished that as much as I could have. She was still angry when I left, and I was still very hurt when I left. I still am now.

Everyone has their thing. Something they are insecure about. For some people is weight, for some it's beauty. For me it's competence. You can say just about anything to me and it might bother me a bit, but tell me I'm incompetent and you've thrown the fatal punch.

I will have bad days like this. But the minute I start doubting myself, I start doubting the plan that God has for me. He has prepared me to do this job. He has given me all the tools and characteristics I need to be great for His glory. I just need to constantly remind myself of that.

Thank you to all of you who have encouraged me. I am forever indebted to you.

Let the adventure continue!